Malicious glee?

An author on one of my writers' loops bemoaned the fact that her computer always crashed when she was 'in deadline hell'.

One year I managed to crash three hard drives. No, really. Fortunately, this present granny smith of mine is (so far) hanging in there, and I think I've found the secret. I treat my computer rather like a pet... which means, it can still be capricious.

The thing is, we develop quite a relationship with our computers, sometimes even turn them on first thing in the morning, and turn them off last thing at night (I don't go so far as to say 'good-night' to mine, you'll be relieved to know). This relationship is much more complex than the one I used to have with my sewing machine, which seemed to delight in throwing a tension fit or some other obstacle in my way when I was racing to finish a new dress to wear to a party.

Even now, my computer plays tricks with me. Its favourite one is to change to 'Canadian' mode all by itself overnight. I switch it off in its usual U.S. mode and, lo and behold, next morning there's a surprise in store. On the email I'm about to send to one of my critique partners I begin to type the subject: 'You okay... I hit the shift key and the question mark. Instead I get and 'e' topped with an acute accent, so it looks even more Canadian with an addition 'eh'? viz: You okayÉ

These kind of antics used to provoke me to verbal explosion 'How can you do this to me?' Now I've modified my response and merely chuckle and those naughty gremlins, having fun at my expense.... and I'm not sure they approve. Rather like my cat, who takes offence at being laughed at, my computer doesn't seem to like amusement.

Being green

Easy? Or not? But hey, I chose the right colour for my blog.

We're gradually replacing our light bulbs with the eco-friendly kind. We always had some in the basement storage areas, but now they've graduated upstairs to places like our (small) walk-in closet.

Mornings, in my usual brisk and inefficient fashion, I dash in there to grab some clothes and find... I'm groping around in the dark! Soon, however, the shelves and rails are revealed and all is well. At least, it is if I can decide what I need to put on, bearing in mind the likelihood of weather.

I began to think about this experience and realized how often this happens to me in other, less material areas. Pondering, thinking, problem-solving, wondering about various enigmas of life, I find that light dawns gradually. And that's okay. I can live with that.

Messages

I try to pay attention to what comes towards me. Twice in the past few days I've passed schools which had a board facing the road for all to see. The message it carried was: January character attribute: Optimism.

Being in the dark days of winter this sounded good, although, like positivity, I think there can be something false about it if it's merely glib and not thought through. However, there's surely a good, helpful energy around optimism and it's certainly better than its opposite. It's easy to get sucked into pessimism and despair when I think about the threat to our planet that comes from pollution, not to mention how much the life-giving quality of our food is already compromised through all the '-tions' -- radiation, genetic manipulation, pasteurization, homogenization and so on. But then I can be grateful that I have access to farmers who don't do any of this. Gratitude is surely another force that can bring light into darkness.

Anyhow, I'm putting effort into using the car as little as possible. I took the bus and subway downtown. I'm turning off every light and appliance that doesn't need to be on (for example, that little light that signals the dishwasher's job is done). I feel better, more optimistic, if I do something, no matter how small.